Being a fat, balding, middle-aged, white guy, nothing is more important to me than maintaining my nebulous and ever-vanishing understanding of what constitutes ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ with today’s kids. Thanks, Umbrella Armory! Now I can just wear this shirt and rest happy in the knowledge that, even if I can’t read these jagged squiggles on the front of my shirt, the youth of today can, and they recognize this secret code for what it is; The mark of continued societal relevance and Ultimate Brand Loyalty.
